2000

Dear Family and Friends,
My, my, how time has flown. Can it really be December already? Here is the traditional Coffey family newsletter (grain of salt not included).

Paul has enjoyed his first year as a stay-at-home Mom immensely. He had a rough start, but after the sex-change operation, things ran more smoothly. He has used the VAST amounts of spare time he has (you Mom’s know how that is) studying gourmet cooking at the Cordon Bleu (his Kraft macaroni and cheese is to die for). While in Paris, he had a showing of his paintings at the Louvre. It was so successful, they decided to take all the other paintings out of the museum and only feature his.

Mollie followed her dream of becoming the first librarian in space by training with NASA and piloting a space shuttle to Jupiter. She returned home earlier than expected, because she claims, “it was pretty enough, but the atmosphere was nothing to write home about”. She returned to her old job at the library, where she was immediately named Goddess of Interlibrary Loans, where she reigns supreme still.

Hayley tired of the day-to-day competitiveness at Harvard, where she was majoring in Neuroscience, so she decided to attend Kindergarten at All Saints Catholic School for a while. Her first report card was good, except she needs to work on “not bothering her neighbors during work time” and “keeping still in her seat”. No, not MY daughter! Hayley had planned on running for president this year, but her psychic advisor had warned of trouble in Florida, so she wisely chose to wait for a cabinet position instead.

Jeremy has had an active year. After turning two in April, he was let loose on the town, and began destroying the Gonzaga University Law School. As you can guess, his work is very thorough. He has adopted a new role of superhero, and is now referred to as Destructo-Boy. He looks great in his cape and tights. If you need something demolished, call on Destructo-Boy! During his spare time, Jeremy translates original texts from Latin and eats crayons.

Here’s wishing you Happy Holidays and the best of luck in the New Year.

The Coffeys -- Paul, Mollie, Hayley and Jeremy